Cuteness aside, I can understand why having a two year old can be pretty traumatic for parents and toddlers. (But we are talking more about parents of two year olds when we say “terrible twos” yes?). Because as they begin to mature, question, assert their independence the nature of the relationship between mom and child is changing. The child is no longer the helpless baby that parents devote all their time and energy to.

The two year old is ready to become independent and through the constant “why” and relentless trial and error they are wanting to learn more about their world. They begin to want to do things on their own. They sometimes throw fits when they want to assert that they are the ones to make their own rules (don’t we all).

Parents, originally the supplier of the basic needs are now being asked for different things, they have to give time and energy in ways that the haven’t yet experienced. As if having a new baby wasn’t a big enough lifestyle shift, this stages shifts families into a lifestyle that they may not change again until the second/third grade and then again at the terrible tweens, and terrible teens.

 Changing the stakes of a relationship is always a transition. For some personalities more traumatic then others.